shampoo...

Why use shampoo when you can use real poo?

sheep counting....

What do sheep count when they can't sleep?

frisbee...

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me....

Duh!!!

taxes=pain in the ass...

tax preparation-H & R Block....

Since nobody gets this, let me rephrase....

Tax
Preparation-H
& R Block....

sponges

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
~Steven Wright~

217...

217 divided by pi is 69. The square root of 217 is 14.73 which rounds up to 15, which is the highest ball in pool, and it takes a 6 and a 9 to make 15 so you still get 69. Now if you're playing darts, and you're playing 301, and you get 69 on your first turn and 15 on your second turn, you end up with 217...

Somebody shot my horse, and I had to break it's leg...

hair color...

what hair color do they put on a bald persons driver's license??

cat enema...

I found this link... it's pretty funny...
http://www.catenema.com/cat1.html

thoughtless...

I guess I've been too busy to think randomly...

Why does it always snow when I plan on going somewhere?

not nice??

semi-colon;

If you laugh so hard you split a gut, will you end up with a semi-colon??

groundhog...

Is pork sausage groundhog??

to read aloud...

• Flamin' Yawn
• Youth in Asia
• X-rayed Ed
• My Dixie Wrecked
• I am Sofa King We Todd Did!!

vegetarians...

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do veteranarians eat?