cows

I was milking a cow and the cow kicked the bucket. Now I have a dead cow and no milk...

Interesting foods in a baby's diaper...

• Kiwi
• Raisins
• Oranges
• Grape juice (not a food, but creates a nasty odor and strange color)
• Corn (applies to everyone, not just babies...)
• Blueberries
• Kidney beans
• Tomatoes
• Mushrooms

I still want to know if Great Blue-dini Kool-Aid poop lights up under a blacklight.....

Sperm

So... I noticed a string hanging down from the inside of the armpit of my shirt and I pulled it out. It had a ball of lint on the end of it. I thought it looked like a really big sperm. Since I was wearing a black shirt, I started thinkin' 'bout the correlation between Negros and penis size. It just struck me as funny! I was laughing all the way to the sperm bank...

constipation

If you are constipated, does that make you anal retentive?

thoughts from the basement

Since I have to go to the basement to smoke, I end up thinking weird stuff down there.... I figured I'd start a blog so I'd have somewhere to put all this randomness...